The World Health Organization has forecast that by 2020 depression will be the Western world’s second largest health problem, just behind heart disease.
Is seeking self-esteem really good? We have been sold on the merits of the self-esteem philosophy only to find that it may have had the opposite effect. If the ideologies of the self-esteem movement are correct, then fifty years later, depression should be almost non-existent. After all, William James’ theories and struggles with his own depression are at the heart of the self-esteem movement. His teachings were more like a self-help guide to overcoming his own depression and foster personal success. James’ concepts of positive affirmation should have helped people feel better about themselves, achieve more, and make society a better place. However, this has not happened. Instead of reducing, depression has skyrocketed.
When you combine billions of positive-affirmation messages in thousands of school classroom over fifty years, you should expect some increase in well-being. We should be happier, but the reverse is true.
Yet depression has been growing like a spiritual cancer, effecting a much wider demographic. The growth in child and teenage depression is a new trend, crossing the cultural divide and affecting young people from most Western countries. The cause of depression is not simply a pessimistic world view but a systemic culture of praise hunger and praise seeking.
The depressed ones feel as if they are the losers in the praise game. In love with their image, they mourn the absence of personal value and significance as the praise game projects a low- or no-praise value onto them.
The spiral into the abyss may be as simple as “cool or not cool.”
Learn more in chapter 6 in the book Grace V Self-esteem
www.gracevselfesteem.com
Tags: classrooms, depression, education, schools, self-esteem
You said that ‘the depressed ones feel as if they are losers in the praise game’. For me is is ‘the friends game’. It is being lonely all the time. I get glimpses of what it is to be liked and to have friends and then I sabotage it and lose it. Then I hate myself again. Today I woke with the words \I feel . . .\ running around in my head. I told myself that feelings are lies and I needed to be more positive. I need to say \I am . . .\ messages. Not sure what to do actually.
Janeen,
Yes, I said the depressed ones feel as if they are losers in the praise game. What I was saying is that from our early childhood we have been condition to see ourselves as either someone worthy of the praise of others or some one not worthy of others praise. So when we reach out to others for friendship we carry the conditioned beliefs with us. These belief about ourselves can come from our parents, other relationships and they also can come from the classroom. In 1950’s teachers started to use praise as a motivator for learning, it was called positive reinforcement. Unfortunately teacher’s created a praise game as kids tried to win praise. They unintentionally damaged some kid’s self perceptions, they instilled ‘lies’ about their worth based on social praise. There is hope, it’s called grace, the unmerited favor of God, grace declares us valued without effort or merit. God loves us and accepts us. You may need a good Pastoral counselor to help you change your thinking or a relational therapist/cognitive therapist near your home. it’s not about being more positive it’s about seeing yourself as God sees you, as someone who is highly valued and loved unconditionally. Once we know God loves us we can love others. Janeen my prayers are with you. Please reach out for help and sabotage the lies not the friendships. I hope this makes sense it’s 1.20 am and my eyes are bouncing.